“In the practice of tolerance, one's enemy is the best teacher.” So the Buddha believed. The practice of tolerance led me to unexpected character changes and opened up a brand new world in front of me, a fourteen-year-old girl who just came to America.

The most painful obstacle for me in the beginning of abroad life was not homesickness or language barrier, but the relationship with my roommate, a typical Brooklyn girl, Kimani Keaton. Distinctively different in appearances and cultural backgrounds, Kimani and I were naturally alienated. The unwillingness to directly communicate made it difficult for us to understand each other’s thoughts and habits. As freshman year went on, our enmity worsened, and eventually our room changed from a cold war stalemate to an exciting battlefield.  Kimani would turn on her Ihome speaker to play loud Rock music while I was attentively wrestling with a calculus problem. To show my discontent, I instantly downloaded a high-pitched national revolutionary song and played it to sound cover Kimani’s favorite Miley Cyrus’ voice. The whole freshman hall was loud enough to wake the dead. I figured out that Kimani and I were fated to be the worst enemies at school.

Although I considered Kimani a terrible roommate, other students adored Kimani for her enthusiasm and optimistic energy. Many girls came to our room to talk to Kimani, but I was all alone, quietly sitting in my chair doing math and secretly envying Kimani’s popularity among peers. Loneliness and confusion led me to despair, and then stimulated my determination to make a change.

In my dairy on October 12, 2008, I wrote to myself “Lily, keeping on complaining about Kimani and pitying yourself is useless, isn’t it? Be brave and talk to her sincerely, learn more about her culture and habits. Nothing is impossible.” After communicating with myself, my bewildered soul was instantly filled with inspiration, joy and hope.

The beginning is always hard. I mustered up my courage and invited Kimani for coffee. I apologized to her for refusing to communicate and my fear and unwillingness to step out of my comfort cultural zone.  Kimani looked at me with surprise, but then she started to say sorry as well, for her intolerance of another culture. For the first time, we talked heart to heart and hugged each other as good roommates. After that, Kimani and I found we can learn so much from each other. I was no longer annoyed by her music but learned to appreciate Rock and roll. Kimani no longer complained when I ordered Chinese food, but learned how delicious Asian food was. I no longer considered New York a noisy party city because Kimani invited me there and showed me the modern prosperity of America. Slowly, I found myself in a new world surrounded with people with equally brilliant cultures.

It was then that I finally realized the paths to harmony and joy: it is the fearless willingness to learn and understand others and their culture; it is the tolerance and acceptance of things that discomfort people at first; it is an open-mind and equal love for all.

Now, as the president of “International Students Organization,” part of my responsibility is to help international students to cross cultural barriers. If everyone can treat each other with more understanding and tolerance, more communication and less selfish desire, the world will be a better place in peace.