Issue 121

“At various times in the geological past, many species have become extinct as result of natural, rather than human, process.Thus, there is no justification for society to make extraordinary efforts, especially at a great cost in money and jobs, to save endangered species.”

学生原稿

There are overwhelming papers about why species have become extinct in the past. We can easily obtain many from the internet. Natural cataclysms, such as volcanic eruptions, cosmic accidents and climatic changes, were possibly the main reasons for large-scale species extinction. Especially, some of them even happened before the appearance of human beings. Why should humankind take the responsibility? However, in the past few thousand of years, nearly every loss of species is related to humans. It is reported that the speed of extinction has been enhanced from 100 to 100, 000 times. Besides, since people live in surroundings in which biological diversity is indispensable, we should take efforts to save endangered species.

Habitat loss is the biggest problem. Scientists blame the increasing human population for the disappearance of many species. Human activities, like farming, developing towns and cutting trees, threaten animals’ survival. When I was 6, I lived with my grandmother in a small town with a natural pond in the middle. The water was extremely clear, so the bottom greeted my eyes. Many willows grew around it, and I always went there to see tadpoles swimming. To achieve comfortable life, some people filled a part of pond and built their own house. Since then, wastewater containing chemical detergents flowed into this pristine body. Years later, water dried up. Trees were cut, and garbage filled the whole pond. My niece is 6 now and she also lives in that small twon, but she tells me that she never sees a frog. Frogs are among the first animals that we can see in healthy wild places. Now, it is hard to see them. Habitat loss also endangers birds in Hawaii, because two thirds of the original forests are destroyed, half of the 140 kinds of native birds are extinct, and 30 more now are suffering the ferocious surroundings. Some of the refugees are forced to a totally new environment, in which they have nothing to do to but die.

Other severe problems are excessive hunting and fishing. Taking antelopes in Tibet, China, for example, their fur is a rare material to make top grade coats and hats, which represent luxury and nobleness in fashion industry. To meet people’s covetous appetites, the number of antelopes declines sharply. Also, too much industrial fishing almost wiped out more than 90 percent desirable fishes, and cod, tuna, shark, and swordfish, etc are among those victims. With the advent of sophisticated transportation tools, people reach almost any corner of this word. To achieve profits, they dare capture or even kill anything. Sufficient evidence firmly prove that human beings should be blamed for their behaviors.

Moreover, humans also kill species in an indirect way. When one plant goes extinct, at least 15 other organisms will vanish. And much more species will die away due to either the increment of predators or reduction of foods. As a result, a vicious circle forms.

What should we do under such circumstances? If we let them alone, things will go worse on our behalf. When frogs are extinct, more reptiles will survive. We sure can use chemical pesticides to kill them. As a result, those pesticides will flow into water and finally into people’s bodies, including babies’. Furthermore, our own survival depends on the survival of other species. Biological diversity helps a region to endure environmental perturbations.

We did take part in killing species directly or indirectly. Not only should we regret for what we have done, but we must do our best to rescue endangered species as well. Fortunately, many countries have established a lot of conservatory areas to protect endangered animals and their living areas. Actually, conservation funds and jobs are invested to bring us harmony environment, from which we will gain much more.

嘉文博译修改稿

There are an overwhelming number of papers about why species have become extinct in the past. We can easily obtain many pertinent examples from the Internet. Natural cataclysms such as volcanic eruptions, cosmic accidents and climatic changes were possibly the main reasons for large-scale extinction of some species. Of particular importance is the fact that some of them even happened before the appearance of human beings. Why should humankind be held responsible then for the naturally occurring processes of extinction? However, over the past few thousand years, nearly every loss of species has been related to human activity. It is reported that the speed of extinction of species has risen from 100 to 100,000 times that of pre-human times. Furthermore, because people live in surroundings in which biological diversity is indispensable, we should make strong efforts to save endangered species.

Habitat loss is the biggest problem in the extinction of species. Scientists blame the increasing human population for the disappearance of many species. Human activities such as farming, developing towns and cutting down trees threaten the survival of animals. When I was 6 years old, I lived with my grandmother in a small town that had a natural pond in the middle. The water was extremely clear, so I could see all the way to the bottom. Many willows grew around it, and I always went there to see tadpoles swimming. To achieve a more comfortable life, some people filled in a part of the pond and built their own house. Since then, wastewater containing chemical detergents has flowed into this formerly pristine body. Years later, the water dried up. Trees were cut and garbage filled the whole pond. My niece is 6 years old and she also lives in that small town, but she tells me that she never sees a frog or a tadpole. Frogs are among the first animals that are seen in healthy wild places, but now it is hard to see them anywhere. Habitat loss also endangers birds in Hawaii, because two thirds of the original forests have been destroyed.Half of the 140 kinds of native birds are now extinct, and 30 more are suffering due to the ferocious surroundings. Some of the refugee birds are forced to move to a totally new environment where they have nothing to do to but die.

Other severe problems include excessive hunting and fishing. For example, in Tibet, China, antelopes are taken for their fur, which is a rare material used to make top grade coats and hats that represent luxury and nobleness in the fashion industry. To meet people’s insatiable appetites, the number of antelopes has declined sharply. Furthermore, too much industrial fishing has almost wiped out more than 90 percent of desirable fish, among which cod, tuna, shark, and swordfish are some of the most prominent victims. With the advent of sophisticated transportation tools, people can now reach almost any corner of this world. To achieve profits, they will dare to capture and kill almost anything. Sufficient evidence firmly proves that human beings should be blamed for their behavior.

Moreover, humans also kill species in indirect ways. When one plant becomes extinct, at least 15 other organisms will vanish due to the loss of that one plant. And many more species will die away due to either the increase in predators or the reduction of food available. As a result, a vicious circle forms.

What should we do under such circumstances? If we let them alone, things will become worse due to our inaction. When frogs become extinct, more reptiles will survive. We surely can use chemical pesticides to kill them. As a result, those pesticides will flow into the water and finally into people’s bodies, including babies. Furthermore, our own survival depends on the survival of other species. Biological diversity helps a region to endure environmental disturbances.

Humans have taken part in killing species both directly and indirectly. Not only should we regret what we have done, we must do our best to rescue endangered species as well. Fortunately, many countries have establishedmany conservatory areas to protect endangered animals and their living areas. Actually, conservation funds and jobs can be seen as investments that will bring us a harmonious environment, which will return even greater dividends in the future.

钱老师点评修改稿

It is usually better to avoid rhetorical questions when writing these types of essays (“Why should humankind be held responsible then for the naturally occurring processes of extinction?”, etc.) In the first paragraph, the first sentence could be understood 2 different ways – are the papers themselves overwhelming, or should it be that the number of papers available on the Internet are overwhelming? Also, the word Internet is usually thought of as a proper noun and therefore capitalized. In the 2nd sentence, “we can easily obtain many…”, I added “pertinent examples” because the sentence seems incomplete without telling the reader “many what?” When writing about issues, particularly in short and limited essays, it is important that every sentence connects with the other ones to ensure that your thoughts flow together cohesively. This is particularly important when you start a new paragraph. For example, the 2nd paragraph begins with “Habitat loss is the biggest problem” – it is important that you remind the reader that it is the biggest problem in what – so I added “in the extinction of species” to make it clear that this is still the topic. Also in that paragraph, the phrase “the bottom greeted my eyes” might be ok for poetry or fiction writing, but it is much more appropriate here to just say that you could see all the way to the bottom.

Overall, it is important to re-read what you have written very closely to make sure that you fully express your thoughts. Also, there were many instances were commas were used where they were not needed, as well as a couple of misspelled words. It is critically important that you have no misspelled words in your final essays. It seems that this essay could have been greatly improved if you had given it a careful proofreading of your own. For example, the very last sentence of the essay did not make much sense the way it was written, although it did contain a valid point.